You Lethargic Lamb

I stumbled upon this Facebook group dedicated to Alicia Jill Harms (College of the Ozarks, NE) last night. Who is Alicia Jill Harms you may ask? Oh I have no idea.

What’s noteworthy is the way that Alicia says goodnight. According to her friends, her nighttime texts include endearments such as “sleepy salamander,” “drowsy deer,” and “cuddly cucumber.” Now, I’m all for goodnight creativity. And, in my opinion, this takes your grandparents’ “later alligator” and “in a while crocodile” to a whole new level. But I must admit I find a few things about her phrases rather alarming.

To begin with, whereas I previously thought salamanders didn't exist in the dusty plains of Nebraska, I'm now led to believe that so many of them run rampant across the state that they've warranted their own goodnight saying. Perhaps I am just misinformed about Nebraska’s wildlife. Beyond that, I’m also intrigued as to how cucumbers became elevated to such high cult status in Nebraska. I had always associated them with phallic symbols that you probably wouldn’t want to couple with words such as ‘cuddly.’ Silly me.

Maybe “goodnight, you cuddly cornhusk” and “until morning my drowsy dust bowl” would have been more apropos?